Research needed as I didn't really get this at all in class yesterday. I believe that this is about communication and relates to life in general. This is a theory of psychology (I should ask my daughter for more information!) and based on three EGO states "Adult", "Child" and "Parent".

So what do those words mean? It is always hard to understand something new when words are used that already have some meaning. In the Neuro-Linguistic Programming lecture we discovered that everyone has different brain connections for words and it is no different for me with these words.
explains the words are representative of a behavioural state as follows:

CHILD: Self-centred; Wants it's own way; Doesn't care about anyone else
ADULT: "our ability to think and determine action for ourselves" (
PARENT: Parents say "You should do this". Our "ingrained voice of authority" (, personality based on our experiences of parents, teachers, authority figures

In other words (
  • Parent is our 'Taught' concept of life
  • Adult is our 'Thought' concept of life
  • Child is our 'Felt' concept of life
There is a test here:

I came out as 85% parent, 10% adult and 42% child. What does this mean, it clearly isn't meant to add to 100%, so perhaps it is about percentage of potential? Not at all sure! There were plenty of questions I didn't understand though, so I won't worry too much! OR perhaps I should develop the ADULT side ... I did wonder when adulthood was achieved and I clearly have some way to go! LOL

Seriously ... For teaching I think the point is that effective communication needs to be between two adult states. If the person we are talking to is in either of the other two states then we can influence that to create effective communication. "the best way to get a person into their adult mode is by listening to their problem and then asking them what you can do to make them happy. This will typically disarm them and get them in their adult mode" ( )

"At the core of Berne's theory is the rule that effective transactions (ie successful communications) must be complementary. They must go back from the receiving ego state to the sending ego state. For example, if the stimulus is Parent to Child, the response must be Child to Parent, or the transaction is 'crossed', and there will be a problem between sender and receiver." ( - an explanation of transactional analysis proper.

Have just watched this video which certainly clarifies how people change their ego state depending on how and what language they are using and also their body language. I suppose what is important about this theory is the need to be aware of our own ego state. By being more parent like another could revert to child like tendencies or respond as another parent this creating a disruptive communication. I suppose by moving a communication to adult to adult state both people are in a state of being reasonable.

If anyone out there has some useful websites or suggested references for me to look at I would be grateful. This is going to take some getting my head around". Thank you.
10/2/2020 12:52:50 am

Hi, please may I use your image and how can I reference it, what’s the copyright? It’s brilliant! Thank you, Lucy

10/2/2020 02:28:12 am

Not sure where I got it from now. You're welcome to use it as far as I'm concerned.


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